Pain stops you at Frustration Station
What to do with Frustration around Pain
So many people get frustrated with their pain and just want it to go away. Physiologically, I know that frustration is an emotion that causes the body to tense up – the exact opposite of what is required for the pain to go away. What a dreadful self-fulfilling prophecy that is.
I did a bit of research and here’s the take home points I found:
- A psychologist defines the feeling of frustration comes from not being able to satisfy your needs, wants and desires through your own actions and efforts.
- This leads to feelings of inadequacy and insecurity because you have no control over the problem you have.
- Both of these lead to fear.
- A mind stuck in fear state is less equipped to create a solution to the problem.
- You stay stuck in your dilemma. Repeat. Continue frustration cycle.
- Very simply stated, the feeling of frustration tells you that what you are doing to currently satisfy a need is not working, and so you should try a different approach.
What should you do about your frustration around your pain? Well, according to this psychologist, here are 4 steps to get your started:
Step 1: Remember what frustration is telling you – there is an unmet need, want or desire.
Step 2: Identify the feeling – fear and anger are often associated with frustration.
Step 3: Ask yourself questions – What is causing me to feel frustrated? What need am I trying to fulfill? What is it I want to do?
Step 4: Get creative and think of new ways to solve your problem.
I’ve worked a lot with frustration in my patients and in myself. It takes deep draws from your internal well of patience and compassion for Self. Whatever the cause of frustration is, remember that trying harder at something that doesn’t work will only cause you more frustration. If you put in consistent effort, give things enough time, and find creative new solutions that address your unmet need/want/desire, a shift is possible. My prayers and good intentions are with you, that you may find guidance to a new way of solving your unmet needs, wants or desires.
The Happiness Advantage. It’s a book I just finished reading and it’s been a game changer for me. There’s a concept in it you will find helpful, and it’s as simple as your ABCs + add a D.
It’s erratic, inconsistent and unpredictable. You never know when it’s going to bubble up. Or where. You cannot predict the timing or location of this fart bubble, or the course it will take to get to the surface from its sometimes trapped place in your shorts.
“The worst of sh*t makes the best of flowers.” The last month has been tough for so many of us… and these kinds of challenging experiences can leave skid marks on our nervous system. That’s why Shake and Shift is one of the most potent exercises you can do.